Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And then my night got REAL pukey
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
