You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
