Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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