is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize