Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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