she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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