the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
