And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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