And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
