Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
