Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
