well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
