I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
