3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize