i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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