were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
