I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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