Duck Duck Cougar?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
