How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
