Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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