So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
