Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
