did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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