If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Vodka?
Forever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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