Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
