Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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