Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
His nipple licking is glorious
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