thus making me awesome and them whores
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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