he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize