I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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