Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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