? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
