i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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