Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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