I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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