i don't like sucking hair
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
