Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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