I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
