I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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