how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
