I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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