they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
