you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
