Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
