I wanna bring you to show and tell
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize