they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
