"it" just moved
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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