member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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