Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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