so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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