i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
