You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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