I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
