you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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