After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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