In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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