he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize