I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
